Forever and a Day
by Encendrel
Summary: "You see, everything in this world is so predictable. After all, I can see the future." Shintaro comes to his final route. Good ends and bad ends, nothing is eternal. Well, except... Warnings- Suicide, mildly depressing writing.


**God, my head is just Kagepro alternate universes right now.**

**You'll have to figure this one out.**

**I don't own the Kagerou Project.**

* * *

_"If I can't see a happy ending, I'll just have to make one, then!"_

* * *

My head rose.

Ahh, how boring. And for today...

That person will trip and collide with the teacher, who will have to go to the clinic, delaying class.

True to my thoughts, A girl walked in, and tripped on a slightly elevated floor, falling into the teacher, causing the teacher to fall.

Oh, that's right. My name is Shintaro Kisaragi. I can predict the future.

Don't believe me? That's alright. I wouldn't believe myself if I heard me say that an android will turn evil and shoot me to death.

In other news...

The test was passed back today.

Well, if you're asking about the results, they haven't gotten any better.

I guess that they're okay.

The red '100%' mocked me from the corner of my eye.

"Ehehe..."

Some random girl- Ayano, something distant corrects. Fine. Ayano comes up to me with a test in her hand. She's grinning shyly and scratching her cheek.

For whatever reason, she's approaching with a test in hand- wait, that grade is atrocious. Who scores a '28%' on a review test? Well, she sits next to me.

Ah, that's okay. It doesn't matter to me.

Did you know, that if nothing goes right, you'll have a very skewed perception of what will go wrong?

"...Every day, it's always the same." I sighed. I considered looking out of the window.

But, the outside world of endless possibilities was entirely predictable.

I even hated closing my eyes.

When I wasn't seeing reality, I was seeing what reality would be.

Sometimes, past that, I could see something parallel to what would happen.

'I'll never forget this tragedy,' I said, before (or was it later?). I could barely hear that whisper of a curse.

"Hey, if it's like that, isn't it really boring?"

Ah. I'm being talked to.

"Who're you?"

"Ayano Tateyama."

"Okay."

Even then, you were cheerful. Well, I want to live in the present, so I'll keep my eyes wide open.

* * *

Even now, months later, you're cheerful.

The backsplash of sunset was nothing more than gray to me, and yet...

I'm so weak, I can't even resist this scarf. Funny, isn't it?

"Don't touch me." Shrugging off the scarf, I looked away.

So I had tried, this time, to jump off the roof of this building.

Had I tried before? Well, I had tried to commit suicide many times, but I had always blacked out before I could stab or maim myself.

I wonder why? I was stopped by something else this time.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you try to kill yourself?"

The painful look on the person who became my friend over the year stared at me. A paper crane with a '100%' was visible in her hands.

Even if 1000 can grant you a wish, I can't even remember what I had wanted.

I sighed. "Because I can't live in this hazy world."

No further explanation, I walked away.

_Ah, you're so coldhearted._

_I know. _I replied, in my thoughts.

The voices in this chaotic noise rang out.

* * *

This time, I walked into the psychologist's office.

It would cost all of my savings, but I won't need them after this.

Ayano was crying today. However, that isn't important.

Over my lifetime, I collected all of the things that I would experience.

I turned it into a twisted story, one with no happy endings.

You can call that story 'my life'.

I wrote it in a journal, that I've kept well hidden. Even if I've hurt myself, I don't want to hurt my family, more than it has already been hurt- Or will be hurt, actually.

Why is it that whenever I blink, I end up crying?

Even flashes of memory are too tragic to bear.

Hopefully, no one will find them. That is, My hopes, dreams, the ones that I had stomped out, but still lived somewhere.

That 'somewhere' had not been my heart, no matter what I had wanted to believe.

"Shintaro Kisaragi?"

The office called, and I walked in.

* * *

"Isn't this the end?"

I spoke to the person below me, from on top of the fence.

I could feel one of my eyes burn a searing red.

Huh. My 'Retaining Eyes" have become incomplete.

Even though I promised, I can't help but feel relieved that I broke that promise.

"Sh-shintaro?"

Ayano's voice came, from the floor of the school roof. I probably look like a maniac, legs dangling on the edge of the fence and my eyes being two different colors.

I dropped the paper crane I was holding.

It's my psych evaluation. As expected, I was diagnosed with severe neurosis and psychosis.

Psychosis is a form of insanity, by the way. I've been insane since I was born, but I've never gone to a psychologist before now. Neurosis is depression. I would argue against it, but it would be pointless, you know?

"Hello, Tateyama."

There will always be time for greetings.

"What are you ding up there? Why are you...?"

She was stumbling on her words. Ah, according to what I remember, today is the day she commits suicide.

Hm. Too bad. Today's suicide slot is already taken.

...Actually, I understand why I was considered depressed.

"I'd told you before, hadn't I? I didn't want to live in this hazy world."

I closed my eyes. One more time, my 'future sight' had activated, and tears leaked from my eyes.

After all this time, I still can't bear all those tragedies. My death seems to be the least shocking, since I can barely remember it.

"What does that mean? Why do you have to die!?"

"Ah, you're too noisy. Well, I'll tell you."

I leaned back precariously before speaking.

"Since I was born, I've been able to see the future. Al of the futures that I might ever see. Sometimes, memories, sometimes, visions."

"..."

"And it's all so boring. All of these tragedies continue to repeat, no matter what."

"That's not true! We can-"

"Oh, that's right. You commit suicide today. Well, today isn't your day. It won't work, and it never has worked."_  
_

I poured out those hidden feelings only once.

"Even if I can't be in it, even if it means never meeting any of you again..." I must have been crying out a waterfall. Oh well. "I want to see just one 'Happy Ending', even if I have to make it with my own life!" I laughed. "I guess I'll be a hero like this."

I let go of the top of the fence. I could hear running footsteps.

Closing my eyes, future sight doesn't work anymore. My left eye is still burning.

"If you see her, tell the 'Queen' that I'm sorry I can't remember for her anymore."

I began to fall.

* * *

Ayano picked up the crane. Cautiously unfolding it, despite her tears, she read it.

_Subject appears to be afflicted with depression. Also seems to believe he can see the future, and people he apparently has never met, including a 'Mekakushi Dan' and an 'android superhuman'. Seems to be suffering from insanity, no solution can be found._

And, scrawled on the bottom:

'Well, it's not like I could ever predict your feelings'- _Shintaro_

* * *

**Cut.**

**This is my horrible attempt at writing depressing stuff. Tell me what you think.**

**There will be two more chapters, no more than that.**

**The psych evaluation was so that everyone would understand that he wasn't thinking normally, as to how everyone else thought, effectively tying up loose ends and preventing boring investigations into the cause of his suicide.**


End file.
